Saturday, June 27, 2009

Fiery Tempest

Wind blowing,
Anointing flowing,
Revolutionary seeking,
Tradition tweaking,
Elements merging,
Revival surging,
Holy breathing,
Heat seething,
Passion spreading,
Enemy dreading,
Far ranging,
Ever changing,
No reversing,
No rehearsing,
Nothing standing,
The Spirit's desire-
A Tempest of Fire.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Dear Rebeccah Beushausen..."I Know What It's Like"

This blog entry is dedicated to Rebeccah Beushausen.  I truly have compassion for her.   I do not condone what took place, and my heart goes out to all who were hurt and who are still hurting as a result of everything surrounding the "April Rose" blog.  However,  I felt like the Lord inspired me to write this to heighten an awareness concerning some very real spiritual battles that she may be facing, and to testify that there is hope even in the midst of overwhelming devastation.  The hope we have in Christ can genuinely and drastically change the course of our lives and bring us to a real and lasting victory over our past.  My hope is that many will rise up in intercession for Beccah, with hearts that are burning with the very compassion and unconditional love of Christ.   

I know what it’s like…

to have been taken advantage of,

to have suffered at the hands of my own poor decisions

and to have walked a long, foggy road where those two worlds converged.

But praise God I now also know what it’s like…

to not only know but feel like a new creation in Christ,

to watch in awe as the Lord has restored the years that the enemy tried to eat away

and to live a life characterized by uncompromising faith and victory over the enemy.


I know what it's like…

to have had deep rivers of emotional pain running constantly through my soul,

to have stooped to desperate measures in order to relieve the torment 

and to have compromised my faith in God in order to try and ease my suffering.


But praise God I now also know what it’s like…

to live where the peace of God reigns in my heart and in my soul,

to experience inexpressible joy even in the midst of severe trials

and to know, that I know, that I know that the joy of the Lord is my strength.


I know what it's like…

to have battled the fierce and unmerciful demons of addiction,

to have felt like I just simply didn’t have the strength to make the right choices

and to have struggled continuously with things I so desperately wanted to turn away from.


But praise God I now also know what it’s like…

to triumph over the demons of addiction and demolish strongholds in the name of Jesus,

to overcome temptation because I have the Greater One living on the inside of me

and to know that I am more than a conqueror over the power of darkness.


I know what it's like…

to have betrayed the very people who were reaching out to me and trying to help me,

to have recognized that people had very legitimate reasons for not trusting me

and to have come to the realization that I did not even trust myself.


But praise God I now also know what it’s like…

to trust in Lord with all my heart even when I can’t wrap my mind around it,

to watch God miraculously straighten out my crooked paths and order my steps

and to experience healing and restoration in relationships which I thought were beyond repair.


I know what it's like…

to have watched my world slowly unravel the more I tried to keep it together,

to have made excuses and lived in denial for extended periods of time

and to have sincerely questioned my sanity.


But praise God I now also know what it’s like…

to just be still and know that He is God and I am not,

to overcome the intimidation of the spirit of fear

and to walk in the Spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind.


I know what it’s like…

to have occasionally thought that maybe I had wandered too far from the hand of God,

to have seriously doubted that I would ever be completely, healed, delivered and set free

and to have wondered if anyone would ever take me seriously and believe in me again.


But praise God I now also know what it’s like…

to be overcome with gratitude that the Lord was faithful to bind up my broken heart,

to have complete faith in the healing and deliverance power of the Lord

and to want people to take God seriously and believe in Him more than in me.


I know what it's like…

to have felt ridiculous asking for forgiveness for the same thing countless times,

to have felt like I was drowning in a raging sea of guilt, shame and condemnation

and to have felt unworthy of my Heavenly Father's love.


But praise God I now also know what it’s like…

to not only know I am forgiven but to feel like I’m forgiven in the depths of my heart,

to feel like I’m drowning in the sea of God’s mercy, love and grace

and to have a revelation of the Father’s love that has nothing to do with my worthiness.


I know what it's like…

to have felt like a horrible witness for Christ and also a downright stumbling block,

to have questioned my salvation because of my weaknesses and my failures 

and to have felt certain that God would never be able to use me for His Kingdom purposes.  


But praise God I now also know what it’s like…

to be excited about the call upon my life and wonder how God is going to use me next,

to see God be glorified through the very things that the enemy meant for my harm

and to know the pleasures of being used by God to help set others free.


I know what it’s like…

to have wondered how it was even possible to mess my life up so badly,

to have continuously beat myself up because I hadn’t forgiven myself

and to have felt like I deserved to suffer forever because I dug my own pit.


But praise God I now also know what it’s like…

to be rescued for good and washed clean from the muddy pit of my past, 

to forgive myself  and to be able to think about my past sins without falling apart

and to know that, with Christ, my past will definitely not define my future.


I know what it's like…

to have wondered if I would ever see the light at the end of the tunnel,

to have sincerely wished that it would all be over and that I would just die

and to have felt so completely and utterly distant from God.


But praise God I now also know what it’s like…

to realize that I serve the God of the miraculous and that all things are possible with Him,

to walk in a freedom in Christ that I didn’t even know existed

and to enjoy the gift of uninterrupted intimacy with my Heavenly Father. 

YES,  I  know what it’s like!

Friday, February 6, 2009

The Glory

Is it just me or is it natural for us as human beings, as we look forward to heaven, to find solace in all of the things that won't be there in that perfect place of paradise? The mere absence of things such as frustration, pain, tears, dirt and messiness which requires tidying and cleaning will be a wonderfully glorious thing in and of itself. (Anyone want to take a stab at what I was doing while this thought occurred to me!)

Anyway, I think I know enough about heaven to be sure that none of those, above mentioned, things will be present. But as I thought about what will make heaven so "heavenly," I realized it would be the fact that we would be able to experience God in ALL His glory. Let that sink in for a moment!

The more I learn about His glory, the more excited that makes me! I came to the conclusion that even if there were any of those types of things in heaven, (which there aren't) that there would be NO possible chance we would notice them anyway- God's glory would be too bright and too intense. (Wow, if there's ever a time that you can't find any suitable adjectives in the English language, it's when you are trying to covey heavenly things!)

I said all that to say that if the Holy Spirit is my connection to His glory, I want every bit there is to experience here, while I'm still on earth!!! Bring it on!!!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Desperate times call for desperate measures.  I think that is a universal truth. As I was deep in thought today, the Lord dropped the word, "desperation," in my spirit.  At some level, we have all experienced desperation. 

However, desperation is not always a bad thing.  There is a kind of desperation that leads to hope and a kind of desperation that leads to despair, a type that leads to life and a type that leads to death, one that leads to blessings and one that leads to curses.
I will not soon forget a little known truth that I learned from a very wise man, concerning faith and fear.  Both are like magnets, but they are polar opposites. Faith attracts things from the Kingdom of God, and Fear attracts things from the Kingdom of Darkness.

With that in mind, I believe the Lord gave me this:

DESPERATION mixed with FEAR will cause YOU
to act in ways you never thought you should.

DESPERATION mixed with FAITH will cause GOD
to act in ways you never thought He would!!!  

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


'Tis the season to be thankful.....and grateful!  Actually, as followers of Christ we should continually have a thankful and grateful heart for everything we have in and through Christ.  Thank you Lord that I have a relationship with You!  Thank You for Your grace, forgiveness and mercy!  Thank You for my health and my family and my friends!  Thank you for Your joy and Your love, and Your peace- Your provision and Your protection.  I am truly bubbling over with gratitude!  I love You Lord!  You are so good to me!  

I love this sound all year 'round, but it seems so appropriate the day before Thanksgiving.  It's "Grateful" by Hezekiah Walker


Have you ever felt misunderstood? That word surfaced in my spirit this morning during my devotional time and I was led to the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel.

12Now it came about, as she continued praying before the LORD, that Eli was watching her mouth.
13As for Hannah, she was speaking in her heart, only her lips were moving, but her voice was not heard. So Eli thought she was drunk.
14Then Eli said to her, "How long will you make yourself drunk? Put away your wine from you."
15But Hannah replied, "No, my lord, I am a woman oppressed in spirit; I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have poured out my soul before the LORD.
16"Do not consider your maidservant as a worthless woman, for I have spoken until now out of my great concern and provocation."
17Then Eli answered and said, "Go in peace; and may the God of Israel grant your petition that you have asked of Him."

This small portion of scripture is rich in lessons:

  • Be careful before you assess a situation prematurely. Especially be careful before you spout off too quickly with criticism and rebuke. Your assessment could be 180 degrees from the truth. We have all been Eli's before. (At least I know I have have.)

  • Realize that these misunderstandings can happen in seemingly "safe" places (the house of the Lord) and come from seemingly "safe" people (a priest).

  • A gracious attitude and a respectful, loving response to someone who has misunderstood you can be the very avenue that God uses to answer your prayer. At the very least, "walking in love," with those who misunderstand us and respond harshly to us is imperative in keeping our hearts right before the Lord.
In this scripture, Eli ends up replying favorably to Hannah's God-honoring response, but sometimes in our lives, the story doesn't always play out like that. There are times that the anticipated response from "Eli" is not favorable. In addition, sometimes we aren't even given the opportunity to respond at all. Whatever the case, we must strive to keep our attitudes and our hearts pure, even if we have to endure long seasons of being misunderstood.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I just joined Facebook, and I am pretty excited about it. I have thought about it for a while-either that or Myspace. I heard a couple of my new friends talk about it the other day and it just pushed me over the edge. Realizing that it could potentially be a "time thief," I must continually be mindful of that. However, I am actually really excited. Out of raw curiosity, I have spent quite a bit of time jumping from page to page of persons whom I haven't talked to or seen in ages.
Already, I have reconnected with a couple of people who knew me B.C. (before Christ) :) I guess they will be the first of many people who are in for the shock of their lives if they happen to stumble across my profile page. Yes, I am a Jesus FREAK and proud of it! Ha ha! You'd be laughing too if you knew me back then!